SYNOPSIS
After two failed suicide attempts, Jiyoon finds herself in a locked hospital ward. During her stay, a video she had previously uploaded to YouTube documenting her first attempt resurfaces due to the platform's algorithm. Titled "Check Out Me Smoking Before Suicide Attempts," the video has amassed 2 million views and 6,000 comments. Disturbingly, nearly half of the comments on this brief video are harassing and abusive. Upon her discharge from the hospital, Jiyoon embarks on a mission to track down those responsible for the hurtful comments. This personal journey unfolds against the backdrop of 2023 Korea, where news of suicides seems to surface with alarming frequency, painting a stark picture of a society grappling with a pervasive crisis.
REVIEW
The film opens with a YouTube video titled "Check Out Me Smoking Before Suicide Attempts," which shares its Korean title with this film. In this deeply personal documentary, the director, having uploaded a video of her own suicide attempt and undergone treatment, is profoundly affected by cruel comments she has received. This prompts her to broaden her exploration of suicide and death, while simultaneously forming a group to track down and take legal action against her detractors. The film documents these parallel processes. The narrative unfolds unpredictably, mirroring the nature of real life. Rather than adhering to a rigid structure, the director engages honestly with the reality she encounters, fluidly shifting between first, second, and third-person perspectives to express and explain her thoughts. For the director's generation, YouTube and social media videos serve as records, diaries, communication tools, ever-present resources, and even friends. The film elevates the discussion of suicide from an individual level to broader social, psychological, and historical perspectives, touching on state violence and social marginalization. As the investigation into the comments narrows from thousands of abusive remarks to actionable cases of sexual harassment, it ultimately focuses on just two individuals—both of whom are juveniles under the age of criminal responsibility. Throughout, the film resists leaning towards any extreme, neither overly emotional nor detached, neither excited nor frustrated. It honestly and unpretentiously searches for its own path and answers, expressing itself with genuine sincerity. Ultimately, this work is more about the journey than the destination. What deserves support and appreciation is the process of searching for meaning, rather than the provision of definitive conclusions.
DIRECTOR'S NOTE
A victim of fraud (a uniquely Korean rental system where tenants pay a large lump sum deposit instead of monthly rent), a high school student who frequented a depression gallery, an idol, an elementary school teacher, a soldier, and a survivor of the 2022 Itaewon crowd crush disaster. I picked up a camera to demonstrate that suicide is neither a luxury nor an inevitable choice. Initially, the camera served as a tool to confront those who tormented them, but it soon transformed into a mirror reflecting my own struggles and a window into society at large. "It's okay to be alive." This simple phrase encapsulates the essence of the film. It's the message I desperately needed to hear and the one I aim to convey through this work.
